AFTERMATH: PARALYMPICS

            While Micheal Phelps and Usain Bolt entertained my adrenaline levels, the Paralympics, as a whole, motivated me. I had never really watched the Paralympics before although there was a vague idea of what it meant. So, I was dumbfounded when I saw an armless female winning a swimming race, a one-legged cyclist finishing second behind an imbecilic person (no pun intended), a one-legged high jumper, a blind sprinter, etc. it makes you wonder what manner of mental toughness these individuals have.

            But one couldn’t help but notice how world records were thrown into the gutter with ease – even the podium less athletes shattered the previous world records. Our beloved delegates broke many. After careful observation, I noticed that in many of the events where the records were broken, the athletes were aided by technology either during practice or in play. This is, of course, not to take anything from the athletes but to reinstate the argument when Ed Catmull, the co-founder of Pixar said, technology plus art equals magic.

            We were so concerned about the able-bodied delegates that we forget the real stars with thirteen medals (6G-5S-2B). Although most of the medals came from weightlifting, we can not complain. We dare not. By all standards, given the disappointment of the Olympics, we were successful. A blissful relief, you may. The real challenge comes from what would happen next. For all the celebrations and welcoming jubilations given to these athletes, what they need is sustainability. In their various sports, technological advancement in facilities is needed for them to compete satisfactorily at the next games in Rio. Since Nigeria has become an import-dependent country, it should be easier for us to get the latest technology than misleading ourselves that we can produce them. Production of technology involves years and years of research and – I might be mistaken, but – no funds are put in place for that. They might have been put to better use like buying laptops for all lawmakers (pun intended).

            Sustainability in the lives of the athletes is the most important thing. Even if 50 million naira had been given to each delegate (that’s ten times more than was given to the gold medalists), it would not have been enough. What they need are jobs or assistances in self-employment to provide basic amenities like food, clothing, and shelter for them and their families. They need to be business owners or civil servants eligible for pension. Believe it or not, they have goal s besides weightlifting. Of course, the shirt should not be given the work of the shoe and vice-versa. If their jobs need more qualifications, they should be given more training. Sports may be their head start in life, but it is just part of it. I’m in no way advocating for sympathy for the disabled men and women of any profession or vocation; they don’t need anyone’s pity. They need more empathy and increased emotional intelligence from all and sundry.

            The Paralympics started in 1948 by Ludwig Guttman as a means of engaging the aggrieved war veterans; it was later accepted by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and modeled as a full-fledged Paralympics in 1960. (So, no one should tell me Oscar Pistorius single handedly brought the world’s attention to the Paralympics). It has taught us, me that there is life after ‘disability’ even if one is unfortunately pushed into it or is born into it. It has taught that disability is of the mind.

  

AFTERMATH: OLYMPICS

The summer Olympics have come and gone but the memories will linger for a long time. Usain Bolt hammered Johan Blake both in the 100m and 200m sprints. Michael Phelps became the greatest Olympian of all time. The USA climbed back to the top spot in world sports after deceiving themselves they did in Beijing they had won more medals, not more gold. Andy Murray thumped the greatest lawn tennis player of all time, Roger Federer. Brazil swallowed her pride when humility came knocking at the hands of Mexico. The host nation’s domination of rowing. Oscar Pistorius becoming the first amateur runner in the history of the Olympics. And many more.

But what many Nigerians have chosen to remember about the Olympics is the failure to secure a single medal. The blame game started in earnest with the officials there was intense preparation (three months, seriously?) before the games while the sportsmen and sportswomen claimed the preparation was inadequate (they should have negotiated for a longer preparatory time, or better still, participate for another country. Unpatriotic, but better than messing up and blaming the government you know is never ‘ready’). Then, the news filtered through that the athletes sneaked into the country.

That last line is as stupendous as any statement could be since most of the Nigerian delegates don’t even live in the country. It’s amazing how imaginative people would be to be funny. But it also pointed to a plain truth – Nigerians were not ready to accept failures, in sports at least. But as usual, Nigerians are looking at the tomato sauce bottle from the wrong side.

In Nigeria, we are too optimistic about sports. Really, what gave us the audacity to think that we could win any medal in the summer Olympics? A little pessimism could have improved our chances.

There is a solution to every problem. Or at least, there should be. There is no self-help book that can help us because the answer is not within us. In fact, it never was. The solutions are glaring for the whole world to see. The first is in South East Asia and the second, the extreme west. China and the USA provide the templates for success.

The Chinese template is pushed by the almost psychopathic ambition to rule the world of sports. It has also been made possible by the shrewd thinking of the government. They discovered that the rich kids could not be forced into sports so they descended on the poor ones. And what dividends that action has paid. The Olympics in Beijing and London showed a country’s willingness to dominate sports and the whole world applauded. China, on the other hand, would have been surprised if they were not highly praised. The Chinese government discovered that the height of sport brilliance in the late teens and early twenties. Any age beyond that and it is up to the athlete to keep his fitness and motivation. The Chinese template involves taking kids as young as six (sometimes younger) from their poor folks to have their bones and muscles tested. The tests determine what sport the kid can participate in and he or she would be transported to one of three thousand schools built by the government around the country where they would be optimally trained in their specific sports while receiving education in a religious setting.

The American template is so much easier to comprehend. Most of the advancement in sports is brought about by the private sector. Sponsorship is the order of the day from the youth ranks to the senior level. Most American schools are seriously involved in sports and the arts. Any talent discovered is nurtured and sponsored to the highest level.

The American template might be difficult for American to shadow. For one, we are not capitalists (USA itself doesn’t practice pure capitalism as we are made to believe. They are social capitalists). We just don’t have enough wealthy individuals or firms to sponsor everything no matter how generous we intend to be. But we can pick a few things from this template. Our various schools, especially the privately-owned ones can always do a little better than what they are during now in terms of sports and the arts. To have only one school capable of producing world class sports personalities and artists in the country is better than having “feyingbole” schools every corner you turn into.

Of course, the Chinese template is ready made for us. We only need the corporation of the government (prayers and fasting required!). Some naysayers would scream their lungs out and claim that child abuse is in order. This template forces children to be sportsmen and women and they have no freedom to choose their destiny. They are been given talents under duress, the ever-quick-to-oppose-anything-good people would declare. But who cares? We are talking about children, whose families’ lives under a dollar a day, not knowing where food would come from the next day and there is talk of them choosing their destiny?  What future are they choosing if they die out of hunger before they reach there? The pessimists themselves are well fed, well clothed, well sheltered, and just between their homes and their places of work, they see dozens of beggars. Why don’t we ask the poor folks themselves if taking care of eleven or even two kids in poverty is better than giving their offspring to the government where they would be fed, clothed, and sheltered and can yet become stars of the future?

The Brazilian Olympic committee, after the summer Olympics, came out and declared their budget for Rio 2016, which athletes were going from the London’s bunch (bearing all circumstances), and sending an investigative panel to look into the rise of Jamaican sprinters. Of course, they are being idealistic but they are preparing. What has our country done besides blame? It is still a wonder that Nigeria got her independence that early (not that it has benefited us in any way). If nothing is done, we can be sure of obscurity when it comes to sports.

Even if one or both of the templates are used, one thing is certain – we are not winning any medal in the next Olympics, because - implementation takes time. But we can build from there. 

  

BIBLE : ORIGINAL MEANING?

Church was nice… as nice as an Anglican communion service could have been. There was the communion (duh!), the offertory, the offering, the peace, the Nicene Creed, the intercession, and the benediction. “Take just one thing from service today”, I usually tell myself. Unlike most past services, I actually took home one (maybe two) thing(s). This time, I was truly in awe to be in church.

The sermon by the curate was tagged The Poor in Our Midst. His explanation of the theme was not one I fully agreed with but that has to be a discussion for another day. I was truly taken aback by the Bible verses he was quoting. No, he wasn’t wrong and he was humble enough to receive help from the choir when he found himself in between the sandwich. My grievance surfaced when, after speaking good, correct English (Nigerian English even), he turned back the hands of time to speak “Bible English” when quoting the bible verses. He was like, “we are comfortable for a reason, abi? We cannot claim God gave us riches and not cater for his creation, not love them. The rich man suffered the consequences, went to hell, and accepted his fate but he now begged Abraham to send Lazarus back to his brothers to warn them. The bible says, ‘I beg thee therefore, father, that thou shall send him to thy father’s house, for I have five brethren, that he may testify to them, lest they also cometh to this place of torment.’” What just happened? I asked myself in church. The curate wants us to understand his explanation of the story but not the story itself? I looked around me for support. Nobody seemed to give a flying rat tail what I thought. They were listening to the sermon. I gently tapped the lady beside me (we are both ushers, hence the famzing), asked her if she knew what just happened. She looked at me as if I was suffering from an incurable face disorder.

The sermon was over…for me. For the next ten minutes, I was asking myself the same question over and over again. Why? Why? Why? Our vocabulary of English has been updated in all aspects of our lives, except the church? We don’t greet each other, “how art thou”, do we?

And this situation is not peculiar to only my church. Most churches I’ve been to claim the King James Version as their bible. Both the priests and the congregation speak thou, thee, lest, hast, thy and the lot. After a little investigation where I asked why the bibles with the simpler understandable English language were not used, I was told the King James Version of the bible is the most accurate version of the happenings in the bible. I was also told that the new bibles with simpler English had ‘diluted’ the message and they might even be the scheme of the devil for the children of God not to get the ‘real’ message behind the words. I’m no child of the devil, but I think that’s a bit shallow (no offence intended). First, nobody in the bible spoke English, as far as history is concerned. So for their records to be brought to us, it must be translated. Those of us who understand more than one language know that no sentence in one can literally be translated into another language word by word. That brings the subject of dilution back into contention. Any statement figuratively translated is diluted. It has lost the essence, the meaning behind the reason it was made in the first place. In my opinion, the King James Version of the bible is already diluted as it is. It was translated. Thus, the argument retaining the message behind the words is defeated. Second, the King James Version was written at a time when English was spoken that way. If the bible was written (translated) in our time, it would surely not contain thou, thy, and lest, but if our bible was still used five centuries later, what message are we preserving when the language would already be difficult to comprehend. Got my drift?    

Children are expected to read the bible, know it by heart. In their naivety, they cram so many verses without even understanding the tiniest bit of what is being said in church. Let me narrate my testimony (sort of). I know some part of the bible by heart - I know their essence, their reasons. I learnt them when I was like ten. Reinhard Bonnke came to Ibadan and during his crusades; he distributed some ‘easy-to-read’ bibles to his crowds. I got hold of one of these bibles and was relieved to find a bible with English like the one in my textbooks from school. The relief turned to motivation (coupled with the fact that I get easily bored), I picked it up and started reading, more as a storybook with different stories than as a spiritual connotation. I enjoyed it. I learnt a lot. And most importantly, I understood what I was reading. I have those stories in my heads then, now and forever. They can only be modified by messages and my experiences. All I did was to read an easy-to-read bible.

This obstinacy with the past just sounds like sticking with the typewriter in today’s computer world. I was shocked once when a woman (woman, not lady) told me that using blender destroys the taste of the sauce that is preserved by the grinding stone. We don’t wear robes anymore for a reason. The monochrome television is not produced anymore for a reason. Whatever that reason is, it is enough for us to start understanding what we read in the Holy Bible and not wait for the curate to explain everything he quotes during every other communion service.

“5000 naira note?!”

“God forbid!”  

“Over my dead body”

“Those thieves would now be able to put their stolen millions in their pocket and walk our streets.”

“Now the limit of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire would be one hundred million naira.”

These are some of the responses of Nigerians ranging from being unreal to absolutely hilarious. A consolation to this armageddon of sorts to Nigerians is for them to SHUT UP. That was meant in the nicest possible way.

Yes, shut up and sit down, Nigerians. For once, close your mouth and open your eyes and ears, it is said that when ignorant people speak, they either show how much of the subject matter they don’t know or they show just how little they know. Ignorance was responsible when the eaglet hatched with chicks thought it could not fly up to 5 feet. Because your senators are against it, doesn’t mean they know what they are doing. You are the same people always condemning the lawmakers and you back them up for this. Hypocrites, I hail thee.

I find this difficult to comprehend but some think the CBN is already being run by an antichrist ready to conquer the unsuspecting world. Sit down and listen and I would explain some things to you.

In economics, there is something called the Phillip’s curve. It is simply a graph showing the alternative between inflation and unemployment - the higher the inflation, the less the unemployment and, vise-versa. And what are the most pressing needs of the Nigerians? Security, poverty and unemployment you say. Security aside (because it is the fault of the self-acclaimed most criticized president in the world it has gotten this bad), poverty can’t be erased without having cash at hand. And the last time I checked the amount you have in your pocket is as a result of you earning it or you stealing it, your choice. You can’t earn money unless you are employed.

The current unemployment rate in Nigeria is 70%, which means 7 out of 10 graduates this year would be unemployed next year, after NYSC (which in all honesty should be scrapped because it had achieved its aim of integrating Nigerians & Nigeria).

So, if you are planning to have five kids now, it means - if this trend continues – at least three of them would be jobless. This is normally the case unless you are an empire mogul or a law maker.

    Back to Phillips curve, the 5000 naira note will cause inflation, no doubt.(inflation simply means increase in general price level for example sachet water or pure water would be 200 naira and women would make their hair for 100,000 naira. Pens would be a little cheaper at 500naira.You get the point). But the other side of the coin would be reduced unemployment or increased employment or more people would have jobs. You get the point.

For the record, empathy is on the side of those who don’t support this 5000 naira note move. First, apart from turning our economy into a replica of the hyper inflated Zimbabwean economy, it makes the value of naira to drop. Everybody wants to sell to a cheap currency but not buy from it. The 5000 naira note would certainly turn Nigeria to an import-dependent country (as if she is not already) unless we adopt china’s currency manipulation scheme. And we certainly don’t have the guts to do it. There might also be concerns about the long term implications.

While it is bad for us externally, the 5000 naira note is acceptable domestically. Besides, who wants to paint the outside of his house when the inside is still a mess? The 5000 naira note increases the price level of everything (inflation).The firms or companies or industries have the chance to recoup their losses and charge exorbitant prices giving them the profit they want. Profits are used to expand operations and human capital (people) are needed to run the operations. Thus, you and your children are employed back. The employment provides you the chance to save and spend, increasing your demand. And an increase in demand of citizens is what will keep the economy from crashing, not negotiating with Boko Haram.

The 5000 naira note is the policy to help Nigeria in the short- run, theoretically. But then again, Nigeria is a place where the best theory can make the worst practice.