In today’s world, “I’m successful “ and “I’m happy”
are two wildly different responses to “how’s work?” we are often required to
choose between the rock and a hard place when it comes to picking our
occupation.
In
generations past, the onus was mainly on the successful parents to lead their
children in the ‘right way’ so that their subsequent gene pools would be
successful/ the not-so-successful folks would push their kids into their (the
parents’) comfortability. Education was the key word. The more education you
got, the more successful you would become.
This
ideology has not changed much as more and people are pushing the boundaries of
educational attainment just to be more eligible for than others that job.
Parents, who have seen it and done that through experience, know the lucrative
areas of specialization, or so they think. They have seen more successful
individuals and have come to realize where, when, how and why their own
mistakes were made. Not wanting same for their kids, the parents’ inadvertedly
make occupational choices for them seemingly for the kids’ good. The snag: the
children, although ‘successful’, might not be ‘happy’. This is the first
scenario.
The
second scenario stems from the Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. At the apex
– what Maslow himself concluded that man needed most – is self-actualization or
self-fulfillment or realization of one’s purpose. So much has being said,
published and preached about the usage of one’s talents and the first rule of
business nowadays is to learn to commercialize these gifts. People in turn, now
use their passion to become great. The snag: this idea of commercialization of
talents, gifts and passions has really been sold to the heart of men. That we tell
ourselves that there is that one thing we do well that no one else can do is a
white lie. It might have been safer to say that we do some things better than
most people, not all. And the people who can do what we can do are not in their
dozens or scores, but in their thousands, often times millions around the
globe. So, while we are ‘happy’, we might not be ‘successful’.
Recently,
another scenario has popped up. ‘Happiness’ is not about being ‘successful’ or
following your passions, it is about serving others. The main cause of
unhappiness, according to this scenario is our selfishness or
self-centeredness. You should pick an occupation that serves people around you
the most. The snag: the people in this circumstance claim to be the most
fulfilled but their lifestyles are not enviable – the most ‘happy’ with the
least ‘success’
These
three scenarios have taught us something: there are various meanings of success
and happiness. In some quarters, success might mean fame or fortune or both.
Sometimes, it is not quantitative, it is qualitative like self-fulfillment
(what we had called happiness in the above scenarios) in short, success can be
happiness and vice-versa.
The
alarming rate at which young men and women are refusing their parents’ requests
about their occupation shows incredible independence among today’s youth. But
the other side of the coin is that hardly as a person come out to blame his
career misfortune on his parents. I have not seen. This tends to reinstate the
fact that that maybe happiness is overrated. No parent would want her child to
turn into a non-entity in the society (at least most of them wouldn’t), so why
don’t we listen to them more?
What
makes us happy? We are joyous when we do what we want. And yet we cringe when
we see another act of stupidity all in the name of ‘gratifying my destiny’. Are
we not supposed to be happy with them? With their happiness? Heck, even they
themselves are not happy. Those who are not confused about their
self-fulfilling prophecy find out that what they called their passions or gifts
or talents aren’t often times profitable. As stated earlier, too many people
are into that ‘passion’ of ours and making a living out of it is sometimes a
nightmare as the marginal are enjoying the bulk of benefits accruing to that
‘passion’. A major fallacy propagandized by the media is that our parents want
us to be either doctors, lawyers, engineers or continuing the family business.
And we should fight for our rights and chase away the talents God has given us
where we can be both successful and happy. In real life, most parents are
supportive of what their wards choose as an occupation but to them, guidance is
key. Also in real life, where you see the most flourishing individuals is where
you find the most failed ones both in their great numbers.
Serving
other people is great as Mother Theresa has shown us and as most companies
nowadays are more concerned about serving and keeping the next customer than
even making the next product. But we need to be careful. In the words of a wise
man I know: Caution, Caution, Caution. Not everyone needs our service (you
don’t open a foundation to feed the rich) and most of what we achieve while
serving people is just from the few that really appreciate what we are doing.
In
conclusion, the direction of parents or elders should not be discarded. Rather,
they should be collected gracefully but sieved meticulously through the
membrane of our thoughts tinted with the activities that constitute our
happiness and that of the very important few who appreciated and celebrate what
we are doing.
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